


inexplicable

by nightingalehall



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Universe, M/M, but its also different, just rewriting the originals to be gay folks, original trilogy, rewrites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 09:55:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6047308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightingalehall/pseuds/nightingalehall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke struggles to deal with that ridiculous smuggler.</p><p>(Or: A series of rewritten moments, taking a lot of liberty as we go along.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	inexplicable

The man in the corner blasts the other bounty hunter into a greasy green splotch, all cold efficiency. Luke can tell that he doesn’t mean for anyone to notice the neat way he kills him, but Luke sees it regardless. 

_That’s him_ , something niggles at him, in the corner of his mind. _That’s him._ Luke’s eyes involuntarily run up the length of the man’s arm, where his fingers tap restlessly on the trigger of his blaster. The Wookie next to the man glares at Luke consideringly, and Luke quickly looks away.

_ That’s him… so what?  _ Luke thinks frustratedly, but the voice has faded away. Later, when old Ben brings them to the back to talk to the same man, Luke sees how quickly he tucks away the facade of a cold killer in favor of bringing out the brash smuggler. The man –  _ Han _ – he’s all confidence now, all glowing lackluster. 

_ That’s not you _ , Luke thinks.  _ I don’t know who you are, but this isn’t you _ . 

_ Twelve parsecs _ , Han says, proud as the Tatooine suns are bright. 

_ Yeah, sure _ , Luke thinks. Han looks at him, like he’s trying to understand something, but Luke doesn’t have anything to offer. 

 

**

There are times when old Ben Kenobi is off slumbering in the cabins along with that hairy Wookie, and Luke Skywalker has never been still enough to sate his curiosity. Han is lounging near the controls of the  _ Falcon _ , and the lightsaber sits in Luke’s hands like it belongs there. 

“Nice toy,” Han bites, “shame that it isn’t useful.” 

“Nice ship,” Luke says. He turns the saber on and then off again, listening to the hum like it’s a song. “Shame it’s a piece of junk.” Han scoffs heavily.

Luke slings the saber onto his belt, still trying to get used to the weight. He meets Han’s eyes, and is unsettled by the sudden, fierce appraisal. In a quick movement, Han reaches towards his belt, and Luke’s breath catches. 

“Here, kid.” Han’s unclipped his blaster. Luke doesn’t know what he had expected in the first place. “That mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble one day, and that fancy sword ain’t gonna help.” 

Luke releases a breath. “I don’t need anything from  _ you _ . Besides, Ben is training me in the Force.” 

Han snorts derisively, and they lapse back into silence, staring into the meandering galaxies. Occasionally, Han’s fingers flick over the controls, and Luke can feel Han’s gaze on him. 

 

**

 

“We gotta save the Princess!” 

“Kid –” Han’s eyes are wild, and he reaches out, grabs Luke’s arm. “ _ Don’t.  _ Escaping the Empire’s ships is all fun and games, sure. But  _ facing  _ them? A whole lotta ‘troopers? Even I can’t take that.” 

Luke’s mouth sets, his eyes harden, and there is nothing that will change his mind. “I’m saving the princess, Han. And she can pay you for it. More than whatever  _ you  _ can imagine.” 

_ Money’s nothing when it comes to being alive, kid.  _ “I can imagine quite a bit.” 

Chewie roars softly, consideringly. Han resists the urge to step on his big, stinking foot.  _ Damn you, fuzzball. _

Luke rolls his eyes, all sharp blue. “Come  _ on.”  _

“Wait,  _ wait.”  _ Han’s hand is still gripping Luke’s arm through the ‘trooper uniform. “Before we go..” Before he can stop himself, Han swoops down, presses his lips to the corner of Luke’s mouth. “A kiss for luck. Before we  _ die _ .” 

He can feel Luke’s arm go slack in shock, and he storms out ahead. Unbidden, a smile curls the edges of his mouth. 

He can feel Luke’s footsteps when he follows, and Chewie, none too gently, jabs him in the arm. 

** 

_ “I’m tryin’ not to, kid.”  _

_ “Good.”  _

_ “What, you think a princess and a guy like me…?”  _

_ “No. No!”  _

Han smirks, and Luke furiously curses himself. A blush spills across his cheekbones, and Han tries not to let it remind himself of Corellian sunsets. 

 

** 

 

“So you’re leaving, then.” Luke’s eyes cut deep, and Han wonders why he feels so hurt. They barely know each other, after all. 

“Yeah. I’d like to stay alive.” Luke opens his mouth to retort, but Han beats him to it. “You could come with us, you know.” 

_ He could _ . Han tells himself this, and every cell in his body agrees. He can imagine Luke sitting next to him on the  _ Falcon’s _ console, spitting back retorts like nothing matters. He can see Luke handling the ship like it’s home, can see him curled up in the cabins, can see him … 

Han can see Luke’s answer in his eyes before he even responds – Luke’s always been brave, always been stupidly persistent. “Take care of yourself, Han. That’s what you’re good at, isn’t it?”

Luke strides off, helmet tucked under his arm. His posture is deceptively confident – somehow, he knows that Luke is trembling under his skin. 

“Hey, kid!” 

Luke turns around, hope seeping into his eyes. Han almost wants to say “ _ yeah, I’ll stay, of course I’ll stay –”  _ but it’s stupid, throwing your life away just for a set of pretty blue eyes. 

“May the force be with you.” 

 

**

 

“Well – I couldn’t let  _ you _ take all the credit!” 

They’re laughing, giddy on the adrenaline coursing through their blood. Leia clings on to Luke’s arm, glittering like a sun, and Han’s face is cupping Luke’s cheek, his hand too rough and too soft and too warm –

Han looks at Luke –  _ you almost died, kid.  _

Luke looks back.  _ And you saved me.  _

And then Han’s hand slips away. Leia pulls them all close, and Luke is happy, so happy to be alive. He pushes away the fact that his heart is pulsing far too quickly, the fact that his face is still warm from where Han touched it. 

**

 

“This patrol … I’ve got to. Someone’s got to do it, and it might as well be me.” 

“What – you think that  _ the Force  _ is gonna keep you warm out there, kid? Is it gonna keep you alive when Hoth freezes you over?” 

“Stop being so dramatic _ ,  _ Han.” Luke is astride his tauntaun, relishing his last moments of warmth. “You have things to do – Chewie’s beside himself, since you won’t help with fixing the  _ Falcon _ , apparently.”

“I do plenty _.  _ I just don’t think you should be going out alone…”

Luke stares down, and Han glares back. “I’ll live, Han. Try not to set the entire complex on fire before I get back, please. Leia will skin you alive.” 

 

**

 

So Luke doesn’t make it back before sundown, and Han is furious, terrified _. _

“I’ll see  _ you _ in hell,” he howls back, over the storm. He charges into the snow.  _ Luke, kid, you have to come back, you can’t leave me alone in there with the girl who will eat me alive,  _ Luke –

He doesn’t think he breathes until he sees Luke’s prone form, sprawled in the snow. He practically falls off his tauntaun, patting Luke’s face, rubbing circles into his chest. “Hey – hey kid. Wake up,  _ wake up!”  _

_ Please _ – he slits open his tauntaun, already keeled over from the cold – pulls the guts out, stuffs Luke into the steaming warmth.  _ Please – Corellia, the Force, what-the-hell-ever – just let Luke live. _

** 

 

“You look strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark.” 

“Thanks to you _.”  _

And they pause here – Han’s breath catching in his chest, Luke’s pulse fluttering. Their faces are so close, almost brushing. Luke’s fingers twitch, like he wants to reach out, like he wants to touch. 

_ You almost died, kid. _ “That’s two you owe me, junior.”

Luke smiles at that, and his eyes are like two deep pools, cracking through the ice at the first sign of spring. 

 

** 

 

It’s dark, and they are tired, they are aching with exhaustion. Escaping the Empire is always ridiculous; leaving Han’s side, for some reason, seems even worse. 

_ Training … that can wait _ , Luke tries to reason with Ben’s invisible presence. He can feel it weighing on his conscience, even though Ben is nowhere in sight.  _ There’s a reason I have to be here right now – I know it. I can feel it.  _

So Leia is in the engine room, being clever and seeming infinitely  _ calm _ , though Luke can tell that she’s on the verge of driving the ship straight into an asteroid belt. After all, there’s only so long that anyone can spend with 3PO without begging for him to be disabled. 

“You and you,” she leveled fingers on Luke and Han, her voice brittle. “Leave. Get out, until you can control yourselves.” 

Luke is bone-tired, his conscience tipping him into guilt. Han is terrified for his ship, for his first mate, for his friends – it’s an explosive combination. 

“Just – just  _ stop talking.”  _ Luke spits. Something’s digging into his temple.“You’re not helping at all.” 

“Oh, and a fat lot of good you’ve been doing, moping to the side, I’m sure the engines are  _ magically _ repairing themselves because you’ve decided to be quiet today, haven’t they –” 

They’ve edged closer to each other – or rather, Luke is tucked against the wall, his fingers at his temples, and Han has been striding closer. There’s nearly no space between them, and Luke can see his face reflected in Han’s eyes. 

The air between them burns, their breaths mingling.

“I think you need to shut  _ up _ , Han.” 

“I think,” and Han’s voice is inexplicably lower, softer, “that you’re being selfish.” 

For a moment, he thinks he sees something akin to regret in Han’s eyes, before Luke pulls him down by those ridiculous white lapels. 

It’s a mess: their lips meet in a thick clash of heat and teeth and there’s nothing soft about this, nothing tender – just a meeting long overdue. Han’s arms wind around his waist, and Luke’s hand slip up, looping around his neck. 

_ You’ve stopped talking,  _ Luke thinks sluggishly.  _ It worked. _

Han has long since stopped thinking, and he pulls Luke closer. 

 

**

 

It’s in Cloud City that Luke realizes something is … off. In the way Han and Lando skirt around each other, like they’re acting out a secret. In the way that when Lando curls around Leia, he’s acting like he’s throwing a test at Han. 

So Lando’s hand lingers a little longer on Han’s arm, or shoulder – it doesn't matter, because Luke doesn’t  _ care _ . Lando’s been an extraordinary host so far, offering them ship parts and a place to stay, and that’s all that really counts. 

(But it doesn’t, because Luke feels like something’s burning him inside and out, like something’s eating him alive.) 

So Luke lounges in his quarters in Cloud City: he marvels at how clean it is, how white. How soft the cushions are. It’s all so new – he’s been living in desolate Tatooine all his life, then fleetingly in the shreds of the Rebel Alliance, and now, this is luxury. 

He should be resting. He  _ should  _ be: they’re leaving soon, and this is his one chance to sleep in a real bed, but here he is, fretting over nothing. 

The door opens and Han strides in, his steps sure and heavy. He looks more well-rested than he has in days, his eyes light. 

“We should get out of here,” Luke says. “I have to go train on Dagobah, and Leia has to go back to the Rebels, and you –” 

_ And you.  _

“Relax,” Han says. “We’re safe here.” He steps closer, carefully, and wraps his hands around Luke’s wrists. “For the first time in a long time,” and he presses a kiss to Luke’s forehead, “we’re safe.” 

Luke lets Han hold him like that, close and warm. For a moment, Luke feels secure.

Two minutes later, of course, the Empire comes knocking. 

 

** 

 

“I –” the words get stuck in his throat, he can’t say it, _ he can’t say it –  _ he can hear Leia screaming bloody murder to his side, but he  _ can’t _ – 

Han looks at him, and his eyes are wide and dark and sad. He nods, his head dipping shallowly, red shadows thrown onto his face. As he sinks, his eyes are trained on Luke. 

_ I know.  _

The words still freeze on his tongue as Han is dipped into carbonite, and Luke feels like he’s lost. 

  
  
**  
  


_ bonus _

_ (or the wish fulfillment): _

 

This is nothing compared to what old Ben Kenobi used to mention with a wistful sigh – this is  _ power _ , power thrumming through his marrow, through his fingertips. The Force hums like it’s woven into his very identity, and Luke tries to treat it like an old friend. 

“You will let me through. To see Jabba the Hutt,” Luke says. His voice drips with something slick and slippery, and he watches as the guards’ eyes film over. A quick flick of his hands, and they part. 

_ Yoda would be proud, _ Luke thinks.  _ I can feel the Force through me, around me, in me. _

But above the hum of the Force, there’s something else – his pulse is hammering in his neck, his chest tightening –  _ it’s been too long. Han. Is he still alive?  _

_ He has to be _ . Luke anchors himself deep, breaths sharply.  _ I can feel it _ . 

The air around him reeks of dirt, of the metallic scent of blood money. He strides along, every step as sure as he can make it, his black cloak collapsing around his body. When he steps into the main room, Jabba’s in the center – in all his glistening, sluggish glory.

He’s here alone. Leia had wanted to come, and R2 had offered its services, but Luke knows that no one could stop him here, now –  not where only a technicality and a few  _ bounty hunters _ are separating him from Han Solo. 

Luke doesn’t even pause to reason. He draws his saber, lets the green glow of it flicker into existence – “I am a Jedi, the last of my kind,” he announces, “and I’m taking Han Solo with me.” 

When Jabba laughs, Luke slices off his head. Luke no longer takes half-answers.

 

** 

 

Han melts out of the carbonite block into Luke’s arms. 

Han hasn’t even had a chance to suck in another shuddering breath, but Luke’s already holding onto him like an anchor, collapsing to the floor.

“It’s been an entire year, Han, and –” 

“Luke?” Han’s voice is so thin, it breaks Luke a bit. 

“Chewie’ll be glad to see you alive, you – you…” Luke’s voice may finally give out. “It’s been too long.” 

And Luke cradles Han closely, burying his head in Han’s chest. “I’ve trained so long for this moment, Han.”  _ I missed you. I missed you. I love you. I love you –  _

And slowly, like these are his first steps, Han tilts his head up, and this time, the kiss is soft, gentle, like they’re afraid to break each other. 

_ I know _ , Han breaths back.  _ I know. _

 


End file.
